ÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂAdult child is a term that typically describes adults who endured dysfunction and abuse during childhood due to alcoholic, drug-addicted, narcissistic or emotionally immature parents/caregivers. Examining the term adult child and its associated traits is a powerful step in the healing and personal development process. However, I believe we need to broaden the definition for the benefit of those whose personal struggles originate from less obvious forms of dysfunction and abuse.
My definition, which you’ll read more about in the post below, is as follows:
Adult child: anyone who struggles to thrive in one or more areas of life due to faulty beliefs acquired during childhood.
While I don’t cover it in this post, it’s important to know that thriving in all areas of life is entirely possible for adult children. Learn about my signature approach to healing and personal development for adult children here.
Let’s start with the mainstream definition of adult child, which overtly connects one’s personal struggle(s) with having alcoholic, drug-addicted, narcissistic or emotionally immature parents/caregivers.
The personal struggles that present after growing up in a home with alcoholic, drug-addicted, narcissistic or emotionally immature parents/caregivers are heavy and pervasive. The trauma and inner pain that result from the emotional abuse inherent to these types of dysfunctional family environments have far reaching effects in one’s adult life. The label adult child and its associated traits are meant to help us pinpoint, communicate and resolve those effects.
Alcoholic, drug-addicted, narcissistic and emotionally immature parents/caregivers often fly under the radar.
There are many more adult children than who presently identify as such. Unless a parent or caregiver receives formal diagnosis as alcoholic, addicted, narcissistic or personality disordered, most people remain unaware or in denial of the dysfunction they’ve endured since childhood.
And formal diagnosis is somewhat rare. These types of afflictions go unseen or enabled, flying under the radar for decades or a lifetime. They fly under the radar partially because most alcoholics, addicts and narcissists are covert with highly refined skills in lying and manipulation. On top of their covertness, those who exist within their family systems learn to rationalize and excuse their behavior. It’s a cycle that keeps everyone involved blind and stuck in a fog of dysfunction and abuse.
Some adult children don’t have blatantly alcoholic, addicted or personality disordered parents.
Alcoholism, addiction and narcissism are family diseases/disorders. They pass from generation to generation, to widely varying degrees. For example, your parent may not drink or use drugs. But if their parent(s) did, they likely carried dysfunctional family traits into their own adulthood and parenting, which then impacted you. They can have narcissistic, addictive, or codependent tendencies without having full-blown personality disorders or disease.
The generational aspect doesn’t stop until someone wakes up and sets out to heal, thereby reducing or eliminating the amount of generational pain passed on to their own children. Unfortunately, it’s much more common that people are completely blind to it. This is why it persists for generations. It’s also why addiction and mental health issues have reached epidemic proportions.
If you’re here reading this, it means you’re aware and in a position to break the cycle for yourself and your own family.
Nearly everyone struggles to some degree due to unresolved trauma originating somewhere in their family tree.
As with most things, one’s relation to the term adult child will vary across a wide-spectrum. Your childhood doesn’t need to have been dramatic and entirely dysfunctional for you to have carried traits and/or beliefs into adulthood that now keep you from thriving in the ways you aspire to.
No matter where you fall on the adult child spectrum, healing and growth are possible.
I offer a unique and accessible path to healing and personal development for individuals looking to break through their conditioning and create a truly awesome life. Learn more here.
